“Was it worth it?”

Founded in Rochester, New York, 1880, Eastman Kodak went on to become the second-largest chemical company United States, and they are said have made 80 percent of all filmstock existence. For over a century, saturated every aspect American visual culture—from family albums advertisements Hollywood films technologies war state surveillance. Mass-mediated images shot film gave form national fantasies, with their archetype subjects landscapes, while consumer products invited ordinary people image themselves within these collective fantasies (Figures 1-5). Considered as process, corporate infrastructure, medium imagination, potentiated specifically vision “good life” that achieved global monopoly twentieth century remade world levels fantasy, image, molecule. generations, functioned locally “total institution” (Goffman, 1961) precursor proxy for welfare state. It distributed benefits resources through workers’ households process nuclear sociological reality Rochester. Workers were promised paycheck 30 years pension after that, children could also assume would find jobs at “Eastman's.” At one point, employed 62,000 workers another 60,000 around world. But 1983, it began series layoffs precipitated company's bankruptcy 2012. emerged year later Alaris. The new employs only thousand workers, number is constantly dwindling. still occupies corner Park, oldest largest factory, make film, though small quantities niche cinematic markets. Many former Kodakers lost pensions restructuring plans, narrate decline betrayal its promise care families. acknowledge irreparably polluted environment exposed factory neighbors toxic substances. In jokes whispers, blame cancer miscarriages industrial pollution. was nation's top emitter dioxin, “the most dangerous substance known man,” years, river abutting factories York State. City residents know this. They smell air: scent burning plastic, worst nights weekends. Yet, many employees continue celebrate having supported families manufactured materials out which empire built. Kodak's Dream toxic, but remain attached wish mass production can bring about conditions prosperity. It's contradictions, so often how love works (Berlant, 2008, 2011). August 2015, Ted I bar South Wedge. A colleague had introduced us. He's Virgo, too, has PhD from Northwestern. His wife's an historian, his son even poet. liked him and, guess, sense he knew what doing “Someone1 asked me again today if worth it,” told him. “The guy said, ‘”Given much suffered’—he talking layoffs—‘my friends ask each other, it?’ And then me, do think it? Like does mean, ‘worth it’? scare quotes. “I don't say that! Like, that's not my question! I'm asking changed world, whether it.’” “Well,” asked, “was it?” “Was what?” asked. What'd you tell him?” “Oh! Umm, well, mean like factored pollution?” cost extracting silver mines coal used cancer, remediating, wastewater flowed into Genesee River (Genesee being Seneca word “beautiful valley”; this Haudenosaunee land) waste remains riverbanks. There more there than anywhere else scientist me. “That stuff's collateral,” Ted. “It doesn't get costs capitalism. Maybe it.” held up palms pantomime scales justice, weigh perpetuity against photograph? “Maybe it's both. both be true same time.” felt impolite close someone else's conscience. closed notebook table front recapped pen. guess really point trying here. int—” “Well, maybe think?” pressed. “You know, know. such calculus possible—to figure did good bad or To honest, when ask, question can't answered. Because shaped reshaped our eyes we see We without Kodak.” lowered gaze beer peeling off, humidity, label piece. stayed quiet, kept going. “There's French philosopher like, Felix Guattari? He cool book called Three Ecologies, it, talks some saw TV, time. This scientist, two tanks water One tank dirty, port Marseilles, other full ‘pure, unpolluted,’ ‘normal’ water, Guattari says. dirty there's octopus, fresh sea. ‘healthy, [it's] thriving, almost dancing,’ says, then, takes octopus sea pours clean immediately, ‘curled up, sank bottom died’ [Guattari 1989, 43]. got use living couldn't live toxic. turn back. That's We're octopus. There's no going world,” said. world-as-picture, pictured it. “We judge through, Kodacolor prism, know?” actually, Ted, something sometimes. give this, um, mishmash lines Rousseau, civilization downfall everything back, how, time, things mess we're in. here, limits, sweet parts life. Family, love. us capacity love, ‘the sweetest feelings man.’ part's quote,” “Friendship romantic want hold onto, another.” might add life,” there. “And either way, back,” “We're photographic beings. undouble undo photography “That's true,” Thank, god, thought. “Family,” mattered. things, materials, remember lives. When house fire, grab? You grab photos.” rummaged invisible shoebox. helping people. ourselves, photographs. Birthdays, vacations—I just photos took kids growing up. remember, sister's once, she whole bowl—an actual fishbowl her kitchen counter, hadn't gotten developed yet. wasn't cheap, developing your film. ‘pff, ‘em I'll take them friend Research Lab.’ weren't supposed would. Olympics, we'd guys working double shifts making film.” promotional photo finish race. service, They'd ceremonies. Guys wives, managers pins everyone who worked overtime.”2 sounds cheesy, thought America. Now?” exhaled audibly circled lips. “I'm sure. Does anyone this? Do anymore? quality, wrong that.” determined desire; now “People fine low-res digital years. Digital different! sharing images, moving images. Now, come app keep afloat. They're go digital.” secured fantasy nearly century. What secure now? layoffs, laid off few months night garden. Was gaining lose end heartbreak impossible answer. asks fell it” together, already crumbled. Instead answering, tried scratch put words why wouldn't hold. answer terms allow economic rationalization determine ethical. value life's labor legacy clusters? health risks, risk others? fair generations cheap abundance? Rather “yes” “no,” calls consideration affects modes attachment mediate between present past. wants relief tension, anxiogenic ambivalence querent out: toward life possible look back pride? Is way displace question, incommensurability categories? If able tolerate once—the “enormous profits enormous cultural personal losses” (Jain, 2013, 223); fact required poisoning world—these “contradiction[s],” S. Lochlann Jain writes, “not legible, livable dieable” (223). Ambivalence opens possibility elegiac politics: “a space where material humanity suffering death informs communicative action” (24). phrased, seems demand certainty, hovers mood regret. nostalgia, mode regret “romance one's own fantasy” (Boym, 2007, 7). Its backwards distracts subject acknowledging complexity present. whereas nostalgia seek return past order again, contemplates differently. choose any differently? “yes.” individuates history bear weight structure, rather allowing agency unevenly throughout hopes will save us, sovereign, self-made subjects, nonporous contained. supposes been desire otherwise, extract oneself moment milieu otherwise. With proposition, underestimates extent desires by structures feeling recruit conscript done differently, least giving entirely? read story heroic will, tragedy necessity bound unfrayable knots? all, sensorium environment. permission fantasy: sovereign subject, cared, manipulate molecules abundance, endlessly harm. ethical option. Lockheed Martin, Boeing, Exxon, options chemists Kodak. photographs.3 time—especially it: rushed, whispered, urgent—“Was hints crack shadow doubt. vulnerable. querents cost. seemed assume, part keeping machinery duped. latter, all. smoke mirrors. kin. meant once strung together provided moral frame (Gornick, 2020 xv). justifications hazards manufacturing evaporate, solvents (methylene chloride, mostly) wafted base dried giant steel casting wheels. clear sustain “no.” presume loss calculated play itself over. believe arrive time balance tallied knowable. created may ended, yet Judgment Day. Chemical keeps Just photographs change time—the react environments transform appearance image; dies fade, paper yellows, edges crispness—industrial debris shape generations. Solvents, cyanide, cadmium, barium, polychlorinated biphenyls, furons, dyes, mercury, nickel, substances names, outside ever seen before, recombined entirely new, silver. chemicals poured air soil there, landscape bodies neighbors, children. Cause effect indissoluble ongoing. unfolding conclusion stays untidy, never reach final reckon it?”—let alone, accountability? How act tragedy? Tragedy recognizes forces—fates, structures, initiate—set motion before entered stage ourselves consequence of. chugging fateful characters “go produced consequences first place,” Stanley Cavell (1976) writes. tragic, argues, because outcome inevitable inevitability fate. refuse recognize significance actions depths others’ (318). remedy backward glance regret, rebirth, salvation, courage, plain prudence, stop” (309). requires turning interrupting structure measure ingots propose alternative abandon accounting inherent capitalist accumulation. Letting logics ending second Perhaps, loosened grammatical form, starting piecemeal work thinking adjudications. begins presumption old stating explicitly, violent ongoing regimes extraction sustained invites self-reflection across multiple function, borrow phrase Veena Das (2007), “gesture mourning.” critical, anthropological, analysis came be, attempts unriddle cause grasp place history. As suggests, taking stock condition forward (77), contradiction livable. taken conversation, attempt remake meaning maintain relations absence institution structured social desire.4 judgment others, participate establishing ground refuses reproduce sensibilities led isn't “no” recognition sacrifice ambivalence. terracidal capitalism poisoned earth minds beautiful place. Even wishing worked, hard away. myself away, too. besides, to.